


TransParent Tony Stark

by KingHippiedude (missreader)



Series: The Avengers Are Actually a Parents-of-Trans-Kids Support Group [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Parent Tony, Parent Tony Stark, Parent-Child Relationship, Single Parents, Trans, Trans Character, Transgender, transgender character, transvengers, transvengers assemble
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-02 13:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4061125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missreader/pseuds/KingHippiedude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark had once believed his son to be a daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony had once believed his son to be a daughter. When he had brought home the infant, swaddled in a pink blanket, not at all prepared to be facing the challenges of single-fatherhood. It was both harder and easier than he had feared. Tony was never really alone. He always had Pepper to help him, even though she was with Happy now. And he had enough money to hire anyone he needed to take care of his child, though he never did. He was determined to be a better father than his own was. And that meant caring for his child personally as much as possible.

Caitlin Stark took to engineering in much the same way that the young Tony Stark had. She was brilliant even as a child and was far ahead of her peers in science and math by the time she started school, which Tony feared would prevent her from socializing properly and making friends. Fortunately, he was wrong, but unfortunately, his child still had trouble adjusting to the social sphere of school.

Multiple times during the first few weeks of kindergarten, Tony received calls from Caitlin’s elementary school saying that she had gotten in trouble or argued with the teacher.

When Tony sat her down to discuss it, she said, “the teacher said I was a girl!” Anger and frustration in every word.

And that had Tony shocked into momentary silence. “You are a girl, honey.”

“No, I’m not! I’m a boy, and I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m a girl. It’s silly!”

“Okay, honey. I’ll have a talk with your teacher. Why don’t you go play with your Legos?”

She huffed, clearly unhappy, but went to play with the aforementioned toys.

***

The phone calls didn’t stop. They continued to come regularly for the next year. Caitlin insisted again and again that she was not a girl. Tony gave up arguing with her, but didn’t really know what to do. She was a child. This was probably just a phase.

It all came to a head when Tony found Caitlin surrounded by piles of hair which she had sloppily chopped off with safety scissors. She had tears running down her face and looked angry and distraught.

“The boys won’t let me play with them because they say I’m a girl. And all the girls think I’m weird because I don’t wear dresses and they think I’m a girl even though I keep telling them that I’m a boy. And I asked them why they think I’m a girl, and they said it was my hair. So I thought that if I got rid of my hair, they would see that I’m actually a boy. But I don’t understand, because Isaiah has long hair and nobody thinks _he’s_ a girl.”

She ended her rant with an angry sob, and Tony pulled her into his lap, wrapping her in a tight embrace. When she had calmed down, he wiped away her snot and tears and sent her to clean herself up a bit while he cleaned up the hair on the floor and called his usual hairdresser.

When Caitlin reappeared from the bathroom, eyes still red, but face no longer covered in tear-tracks, he said, “Grab your jacket and shoes. We’re going to get this haircut fixed up properly.”

She looked suspicious and said, “You won’t make it look like girl hair again, will you?”

He knelt down in front of her so that their eyes were on level and said, “No. I promise you can have your hair cut however you like. Okay?”

She nodded and hugged him. And he swooped her up in his arms and carried her to the car like that.

***

Once Tony got Caitlin tucked into bed that night, happy with her new haircut, he began searching things online, trying to figure out what was going on with Caitlin and what in the world he was supposed to do.

_“my daughter says she is a boy”_

There were so many blog and forum posts to sift through that Tony hardly knew where to start. And after reading through dozens of posts, he left just as confused as he had started. No one seemed to agree about anything, some insisting it is just a phase, some saying it’s a sign that the child is transgender. Some people urge parents to accept whatever their kids do, some urge parents to do the opposite and enforce the fact that his daughter is a girl. The worst comments were the ones implying that the child in question might be ‘homosexual’ and therefore doomed to hell. To be honest, he thought those people in the last two categories weren’t very good parents; even if it _was_ just a phase, he wasn’t about to start forcing Caitlin to be anything she didn’t want to be.

He figured that he was in for a long conversation with Caitlin tomorrow about why she said she was a boy and what that means going forward.

***

“Good morning, honey,” Tony said as Caitlin entered the kitchen.

“Morning, Daddy,” she replied. “Will you fix me some eggs? Please.” The last word sounded like it had been tacked on only as an afterthought.

But Tony didn’t care, and he replied, “Of course, sweetheart,” and moved to the fridge to retrieve the eggs. “Fried or scrambled?”

“Scrambled. Duh.”

Tony just smiled and continued cooking.

Once they had both finished their eggs and the plates had been put in the dishwasher, Tony said, “I think we need to talk,” before Caitlin could disappear. She slid down in her seat a bit, as if trying to make herself smaller.

“I promise you are not in trouble. I just want to make sure that I’m doing what’s best for you, and I need you to talk to me to make that happen, okay?”

She nodded but still didn’t look very happy about the situation.

“So, you know how you were confused that everyone thinks you’re a girl because you had long hair even though Isaiah has long hair and everyone knows he’s a boy?”

She nodded again.

“Well, when babies are born, doctors look at their private parts to see what kind they have. There are two different kinds of parts: male parts and female parts. People with male parts are labeled as boys, and people with female parts are labeled as girls. You have female parts, so when you were born, the doctor said you were a girl. I assume Isaiah has male parts, which is why everyone calls him a boy. But sometimes the doctors are wrong. Sometimes people with male parts are actually girls or people with female parts are actually boys. And a lot of people don’t understand that and don’t like it. They think that people are just confused or lying, and so they say really hurtful things. But they’re wrong. It’s absolutely okay for people to realise that whatever the doctor said about their parts when they were born doesn’t match what they know in their heads.”

After a long silence Caitlin spoke, “So, people think I’m a girl because of my private parts? But they’ve never seen my privates!”

“I know. It’s a little more than just that, but that is the main reason. Since the doctor said you were a girl when you were born, we gave you a girl name and dressed you in girl clothes, and all of your official papers say you’re a girl.”

“But I’m not. And if there are other people who aren’t whatever the doctor says, then why do the doctors keep saying what people are anyways?” Caitlin said, confused.

“Because it makes them feel better if they can stick a label on people. But that doesn’t make them right. No matter what the rest of the world thinks, the only person who can know who you are is _you_ ,” Tony said, tapping her gently on the nose as he said the last word. Caitlin smiled a little, and Tony continued, “So, how would you like to go shopping today and get you some boy clothes to match your boy haircut?”

“Yes!” Caitlin squealed.

“Hmm… I guess you need a boy name too…” he continued, more to himself than to Caitlin, “how about Scott? Montgomery? No. Obviously not Spock. Bones… Leonard?”

Caitlin interrupted then, “I like that last one. Lenn-erd,” he sounded out.

“Hmm? Leonard? You like Leonard?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Okay. It seems a little long for a kid. Maybe Len? Leo?”

“That one! Leo! I wanna be called Leo.”

“Okay, Leo. How about we go get dressed properly, and we can head to the store?”

“Okay!” Leo responded, starting to turn away but hesitating briefly to turn back and say, “I love you Daddy.”

“I love you too. So much,” Tony replied, kneeling down to hug his _son_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I had already posted this chapter, but it turns out I hadn't. This is what happens when I have too many WIPs going at once. So, anyways, enjoy!

In one of his many searches for parenting advice, Tony happened across a blog run by Bruce Banner. At first Tony thought it was just a coincidence that the blog’s owner had the same name as the renowned scientist. But upon further investigation, he realized that they were actually the same person. Banner had always been an advocate for social justice causes and all kinds of issues, but Tony had never paid it much attention when there was science to be had. Sure, he was a philanthropist, but it had never really been personal. This was. Bruce wrote about trying to raise his children gender-neutrally, about struggles in school and with friends, about his children’s explorations of gender identity and expression.

Tony read for hours, enthralled by the honest recollections of both joy and struggle. At some point he came to the end--or rather, beginning, surprised that he had been reading for so long. He bookmarked the blog and kept up with updates.

Tony even started sending in his questions anonymously to see what Bruce had to say. And at some point they ended up exchanging emails and communicating regularly. But it was only after months of communication that Tony revealed his identity to Bruce.

***

Ever since Tony had started letting Leo express himself however he wanted (including being called Leo and using he/him pronouns), the press had been passing judgment left and right. He had been on the cover of more magazines this past week than he had since his days as a womanizing alcoholic. They were all saying that he was forcing his child to be a boy and that this was proof that children need both male and female parents. But Tony was just trying to make Leo feel like the happy, comfortable-in-his-skin child that he should be. But as much as Tony tried to ignore the press and focus on the voices of the few people congratulating him for his ungendered parenting, he found it impossible. So he emailed Bruce, tears in his eyes, after tucking Leo into bed. His son had been so happy; Tony couldn’t find it in himself to believe that anything about this situation was bad, or that Leo himself was bad somehow.

_Bruce,  
I don’t know what to do. The press is pasting my life all over the news because I started letting Leo be himself. And I’m worried about what effect it’s going to have on him. I don’t want him questioning himself more than he already is. I hate that everything I do is so public. And I just need someone to tell me that I’m doing the right thing, that it will be okay in the end. That Leo’s going to be okay…_

The message went on for over a page before Tony deleted it. He couldn’t send that to Bruce.

_“Bruce,_  
_Have you seen the news recently?_  
_-Tony”_

was the message he eventually sent.

***

Tony had to go to California for business this week, and he couldn’t find anyone to stay with Leo. So he packed up his son’s things with his own and planned to take him to his Malibu house with him. Tony would still be gone during the day sometimes, but he could work from home as much as possible. And it would mean that he wouldn’t have to go a week without seeing his son.

Leo had never flown before, so he was amazed with everything as they climbed on board Tony’s private jet. His gasps of astonishment made Tony smile. But nothing was as great as the moment the plane took off. Tony knew that he would be watching the footage for years to come. Leo, who had been looking out the window as the plane taxied, jerked in his seat and cried out as the jet lifted off the ground, jaw dropping. As soon as the shock had passed, Leo turned again to the window and watched as the earth fell away underneath them.

“ _We’re flying_ ,” he whispered, voice filled with amazement.

“Yep,” Tony said simply, in response. He loved spending time with his son, and even though the actual reason for the trip was business, he was thrilled to get to spend a week in Malibu with his son, enjoying the summer heat. Leo was the one person Tony loved more than anything in the world, the reason he had turned his life around. He had been so unsure of himself when he found himself pretty much with a child on his doorstep. (It had been more complicated than that, of course. But Tony’s playboy ways had finally caught up with him, and he found himself with an unexpected child one day.)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, those are the names of Star Trek characters. I couldn't resist and figured it wouldn't be too out of character for Tony Stark.


End file.
